i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
