I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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