Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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