bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my phone needs a breathalizer
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize