So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
