U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
