so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
