I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
