We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We're too hungover to prance.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize