The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
