I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize