you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
