We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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