just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
