That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
