nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize