i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
