Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
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They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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