i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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