Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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