Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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