I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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