the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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