If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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