What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
