it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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