Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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