New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
