Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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