Your mouth is God's brothel.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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