ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize