They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
