If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize