i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's rum buckets o'clock
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize