Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
