): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
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I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
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