I heard we made out
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
