come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I cut my penus on the lid.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
