so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.