I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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