im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
