Just fell off a train. Bad.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks