Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...