no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
