You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She bit a glass in half.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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