the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
