hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
