I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
