nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
