I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize