Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
