living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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