So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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