I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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