I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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