I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
