I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
