There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
