I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
