so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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