It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
