I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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