Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
These tits shall not be calmed
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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