"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
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P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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